Let’s talk about flying, shall we? Not the technicalities of how a 200-ton metal bird stays in the air (thank you, physics), but the human side of it. Flying isn’t just about getting from Point A to Point B, it’s an experience, a social experiment in a metal tube cruising at 35,000 feet. And yet, people forget the most basic rules of decency the moment they step into an airport. From bizarre passenger behavior to airlines questionable policies, let’s break down everything that needs fixing across three perspectives: passengers and airlines.
Passengers: Can We Behave, Please?
Oh, honey. Let’s start with the basics. Flying isn’t a free-for-all. It’s a shared experience, and that means behaving like a decent human being.
- The Art of Clapping (Or Not)
Look, unless the pilot just pulled off an emergency landing in the middle of the ocean, there’s no need to applaud every single touchdown. Commercial flights have been around since 1911 in India, and safe landings are kind of the bare minimum expectation. First-timers and kids get a pass, but if you’re a frequent flyer still clapping after every flight, it’s giving “Weird energy syndrome.” - The Great In-Flight Heist
Why do people treat flights like Sharmain ka Sofa? You know, the one from the Fevicol ad, Sharma ki bitiya jo byah kar aayi, sang two-seater sofa le aayi. Except here, it’s not a sofa, it’s everything from pillows to blankets to life vests (yes, some people actually do that). Airlines are literally going bankrupt, and here we are, stealing seat cushions like they’re parting gifts. Sit on steel next time, then, I guess?
3. Flight Attendants Are Not Your Personal Butlers
Demanding exotic drinks, gourmet meals, and the moon? Unless you pre-ordered, that’s a hard no. And no, she doesn’t have your child’s specific organic dragon-fruit juice. Plan better, bring it yourself or pre-order.
4. Flirting With Flight Attendants? Just Stop.
Sir, you called her “daughter” while boarding. Now you’re proposing marriage on exit? Pick a lane, preferably one that doesn’t lead to disgusting-ville. And for the record, harassing flight attendants or anyone for that matter isn’t just awkward, it’s inappropriate and unacceptable. Respect people, simple.
5. Toilet Manners, Did You Skip Potty Training?
You learned how to flush a toilet when you were three. So if you’re older than that then it is expected better from you. I don’t understand why a 49-year-old struggles with this concept at 30,000 feet? Also, closing the door properly? Highly recommended.
6. Celebrity Worship Gone Wrong
You’re a celebrity? That’s great! But if you paid for an economy ticket, you’re sitting in economy. No, you don’t get a free upgrade to business class just because you’re famous. Rules are rules and even stardom has a price tag, my dear.
For Airlines: We See You Too
1. Give People Some Space!
If I wanted to sit in a sardine can, I’d join a yoga class. Airlines, please stop cramming seats like it’s a Black Friday sale. A little legroom won’t hurt. In fact, it might earn you some loyal customers.
2. Make Web Check-in Matter
If I select a window seat during web check-in, don’t move me to the middle seat next to the lavatory. That’s not a “system error”, that’s a betrayal.
3. Be a Little Less Ruthless with Boarding Rules
Reporting 40 minutes before departure instead of 45 shouldn’t be a death sentence. We’re here. Let us fly.
4. Cancellation Charges Are a Scam
Book a ticket for ₹3000, cancel it, and lose ₹1500. What are we paying for? Emotional damage?
5. Last-Minute Fares Are Highway Robbery
We get it, demand and supply, but let’s not turn airfare into an auction house.
6. For Low-Cost Carriers: A Tiny Request
Maybe offer a free water bottle? It costs ₹10. We promise we won’t steal it.
For Full-Service Carriers: Time for Innovation
- Automate toilet cleaning, because, well, see passenger point #5.
- Redesign overhead bins, because it’s a Hunger Games situation up there.
- Use better analytics to improve flight scheduling. Less delays, fewer angry passengers.
- Redesign overhead bins, because it’s a Hunger Games situation up there.
- Improve baggage tracking with RFID (Radio Frequency Identification). Nobody wants to play hide-and-seek with their luggage.
Mama’s Verdict:
Flying is a privilege, not a right. Passengers, behave like you’ve been taught basic manners. Airlines, stop cutting corners and start caring about comfort. And flight attendants, thank you for putting up with all of us.
At the end of the day, flying should be about getting to your destination with a little dignity intact. So, let’s all do our part to make the skies a little friendlier. And remember, Mama’s watching. Be good.
